Damn, He thicc
by masteremeraldholder
Summary: Lance winds up with a slap from Keith after he grabs his butt. Spongebob References, Butt Puns, and Booty Grabs. Keith got that booty for sure. Swiggity Swooty, Lance is coming for that booty.


this is my first voltron fic, hope ya'll like it! and i would've had this up 2 hours earlier but ff was being a bitch. *insert angry emoji*

* * *

"What the fuck?" was all Lance heard before he was met with a sharp pain and tumbled backwards to the ground. His eyes watered, his vision was blurry, feelings he knew all to well from the hands of several girls.

He heard Keith's heavy footsteps and low mutters and then the door whooshing open and shut. Lance sat there, bringing a hand to his throbbing cheek.

* * *

It was twenty minutes later when Lance worked up the strength (and nerves) to leave the training deck. He was going to head straight to his bunk and make sure none of the others saw him, but he made the mistake of running into Hunk.

"Hey Lance- OH MY GOD, what happened to your face!" Hunk pointed a fat finger at Lance's swollen cheek. Lance glared daggers at him.

"Nothing, I just ran in-

"Are you okay?" Hunk stared at him with genuinely worried eyes.

"Yes, Hunk, I'm okay...my pride's not so hot." He only mumbled the last part.

"Does it hurt when I touch it?" Junk proceeded to bring a hand to Lance's cheek and of course, he winced. "You are hurt!"

"No! I just-

"C'mon, we're gonna show Allura, maybe she has Altean medicine."

"Hunk, no, stop!"

Hunk scoops him up and over his shoulder, Lance kicking and screaming, it was quite similar to a child fighting its parent.

By the time Hunk had gotten to the dining room, Lance had given up trying to escape and settled on crossing his arms. Allura, Coran, Shiro, and Pidge sat, chattering softly amongst themselves.

"Guys!" Hunk sat Lance down on the table. "Lance is hurt!"

"Get him of the table, Hunk. He's not _that_ important." Allura says, a bit of playfulness behind it. She sips from a mug which reads 'Space Mom'. Pidge had apparently made Allura and Shiro matching sets.

"See, Hunk, even Allura says I'm fine." Lance stands, revealing the side of his face where he was slapped, a perfect red handprint was there. The others faces are contorted into grimaces.

"Lance, what happened." Shiro sets down his own mug - Lance had obviously stumbled in on an intergalactic tea party - and stands up. "That looks awful."

"Gee, thanks." Lance gives him a wary look as he brings his Galra hand to his cheek.

"It's definitely bruised."

"It's nothing." Lance pushes his hand away. "Hunk was just overreacting."

"Well, how'd you get it?" Shirt crosses his arms, an eyebrow raised.

"Uh...I was...training...and I..um..." He trails off, not quite knowing what to say. It wasn't like he could just come out and say 'Hey, I touched Keith's butt, and guess what, he slapped me!'. That'd be too blunt, but then again, Lance was always blunt. "I may or may not have touched Keith's butt."

* * *

Keith was doing squats in tight, constricting pants, so how could he not look? It was inevitable! Lance had been training too, but Keith was making it hard to concentrate what with his thick rear end.

Somehow, Lance snuck up behind him, and was awestruck by his tush, because man, it was just _there_. Lance knew that he should've left him alone, and yes, he knew that he wouldn't make it out of there unscathed if he touched it, but he couldn't stop looking at it. Maybe it was because Lance didn't have a tap of ass and Keith had loads of it, but he'd made up his mind to do it, his feet were stuck in place anyway. It was an opportunity and he took it.

Lance gave his butt a firm squeeze, finding it was surprisingly soft...yet firm. Lance'd gotten a few gropes in before Keith realized what was happening and laid a slap to his face. On the ground, Lance smiled, he wasn't sure if it was because he was dazed or if it was because he'd saw Keith blushing madly.

* * *

Pidge erupts in laughter, the others giving Lance looks of puzzlement.

"You _what_?" Shiro asks.

"Well no wonder he hit you!" Coran twirls the ends of his mustache, smirking.

"Lance..." Shiro shakes his head. "I wish I could say that I'm surprised."

Lance turns red, and racks his mind for any dirt he could hold over their heads, because with this information, they'd have a lifetime's worth of dirt on him.

"Hey, Lance." Pidge manages through suppressed giggles. "Didja firmly grasp it?"

"Pidge!" Lance's voice is strained and he can feel his blush darkening.

"Looks like firmly grasping it is what got him into this situation." Hunk mumbles quite loudly, and Pidge loses it, breaking down in laughter again.

"Hunk!"

"That's enough." Shiro says, though a smile is on his face. "Lance, you should go apologize to him."

"What? I barely made it outta there with just a slap!"

"He's probably calmed down by now."

"You make it sound easy!"

"Because it is."

"Well, maybe, you should come with me."

"Sorry, buddy." Shiro pats his shoulder affirmatively. "Can't help you there. I wouldn't want to _butt_ in on you heartfelt discussion."

"Really? You too?"

"It's just butt-loads of fun!" Pidge might as well be a witch with all the cackling she's doing and Lance can only roll his eyes.

"Wait," Hunk says, "I've got one! The backside of this pun though, Lance, is you'll see why I've always thought you were a giant pain in the butt."

There's laughter, tons of it and Lance doesn't know how much more of this he can take, so he turns to walk off.

"Lance, hey!" He hears Pidge the witch calling and wills himself to turn around, knowing he's making a mistake. But Pidge has a serious expression on so, maybe it's not something stupid.

"Firmly grasp it, okay?"

Lance turns back around as they hoot in laughter (he can hear Coran saying, "What does that even mean?") and leaves the room.

* * *

Lance stands outside Keith's room, but he can't make himself knock so he goes back to his own room. He paces once there, and decides to shower. Maybe it'll help his nervousness. Afterwards, he sits on the bed and twiddles his hands together, the nervousness gone nowhere. He sighs and decides to try and sleep.

* * *

His sleep is shrouded with turmoil. He awakes and isn't sure how long he was out, but he knows what a stupid idea it was to touch Keith's butt. So he gets up and makes himself go to Keith's dorm, because he knows he won't be able to get a sound sleep if he doesn't get this off his chest.

He knocks once, then twice and stands back, hoping for the best. A beat later the door swishes open and Keith is standing there in a tee and sweatpants, the fabric stretching around his thighs. His hair is askew, probably from sleep and Jesus, Lance has to make himself look away from this sight that makes his mouth go dry and his heart beat faster.

"What." Keith's voice is colder than usual.

"I'm sorry for touching your butt, it was very squishy." Lance's mind isn't quite aware of what his mouth is saying, so when Keith backs up and the door begins to swish close, he's confused, but Lance sticks a blue lion slipper in the frame to stop it. "Okay! Let me rephrase that."

Keith huffs and lets the door back open, crossing his arms irritably.

"I don't know what came over me or what made me actually want to touch your butt," Keith raises an eyebrow and Lance knows he's getting off track and he needs to reel it in. "Anyway, I'm sorry...it was a really stupid thing to do."

Keith only stares at him, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Lance looks away, awkwardly, and hopes that Keith is not thinking of slapping him.

"How's you face?" Keith says, suddenly. Lance meets his eyes briefly and looks away again.

"It's fine...a little sore, but I think I'll live."

"Mm." Is all he says and it's quiet again. A few ticks pass and then he feels it, first a single calloused finger then all of them at once touching his swollen cheek.

Lance's breath hitches as he watches Keith's expression of anger melt into one of concern. You get anything for it?" Keith mumbles.

"No."

Keith backs away from him, Lance immediately missing the warmth of his hand, and vanishes into the room. Lance follows him in, a little reluctant and hears him from somewhere in the darkness say, "Sit."

Lance does so and seats himself on the small, disheveled bed. Keith returns a moment later with a cool towel, which he places on Lance's cheek.

Keith's brow is furrowed in an unreadable look. "Sorry." He says after a while. "I didn't realized I'd hit you this hard."

"'S'okay." Lance croaks, his voice is refusing to work. "I deserved it."

Keith scoffs. "Yeah, you did. But that doesn't mean I had to do it. Hold this."

Lance brings a hand to the towel, his and Keith's hand brushing past one another for a tick.

Keith goes to the bathroom and returns with another towel. It feels warm against Lance's cheek, a drastic contrast from the first. It's soothing.

"Thanks." Lance mumbles, warily eyeing Keith."

"Mm."

"...Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's the right thing to do."

"Maybe," Lance dares to look up at him, "touching your butt was the right thing to do."

"...You wound up with a bruised face and a probably bruised ego."

"Yeah, but I've finally got you alone and talking about your fe-..." He trails off.

"Talking about what?"

"...Your feelings about me."

Keith frowns. "You do realize I can still smack you, right?"

"Yeah, I do, but you're not gonna do it." Lance lets the towel drop from his hand and lurches forward, wrapping a hand around his wrist and pulls him down to eye level with him.

"Lance, what the he-

"Look, I like you, okay! A lot. I guess that's why I went out on a whim and grabbed your butt, and I know that was wrong, but that was my last resort."

Keith is quiet, his eyes wide in realization. Lance looses his arm and looks away, preparing for a slap, punch, anything. It never comes.

"Move over..." Keith says finally.

Lance does and watches as Keith wiggles under the thin blanket. "Well...get under."

"Oh." Lance slides under, not knowing quite what to do. He's so cold, so he scoots closer to Keith, Lance can feel his strong legs and thighs, flush against his skinny ones, and finally the body part that started it all, his butt.

"Sorry," Lance says suddenly, wrapping his arms around him, one going over Keith's shoulder and the other under his arm pit, pulling him back towards him. "I'm a cuddler."

"Lance- What the? Get OFF of me!" Keith sends an elbow backwards into Lance's stomach.

He reels back instantly. "Sorry! Sorry..." He goes to get up and leave, thinking this was all a mistake.

"Wait." A strong hand clamps around his bony wrist. Keith leads his arms to around his torso. "Like this."

"Oh...'kay?" Lance lays down beside him, snuggling close to him. He's surprisingly soft and Lance presses his mouth to the warm skin of Keith's neck. He can feel Keith's breath hitching beneath him. "Geez...you're cuddly."

His breath hitches even more. Lance hears him utter back a low, "Shut up...", and knows he must be dozing back off.

Lance is too, but Keith's bitt makes its way back to his mind and he knows he won't feel satisfied with himself unless he gets to touch it again.

He unclasps his hands, slowly as not to disturb Keith, and trails it towards its destination. It finally makes contact with his butt and, boy, was it worth it.

"...Are you touching my butt..?" The low rumble of his voice sends a chill up Lance's spine.

He bites his lip. "...Yeah...I'll stop." He goes to move his hand when a slightly smaller one grabs it and holds it there.

"It's fine..." Keith mutters and Lance blinks, because he isn't sure he heard it right.

"Okay." He falls asleep with Keith's hand laced with his, hand atop the soft, soft flesh of Keith's butt.

* * *

as you can see, i have a hc that Keith is thick.


End file.
